The Care Assistant

 This is a true story of a woman specialyzed in psychology and sociology exiled in Portugal.

No job, no alternative at the moment, due to exceptional circumstances. I decided to emigrate. This experience was indeed extraordinary. It was also a life lesson. 

I arrived to the United Kingdom on the 18th May, 2015. The Elate training 1 happened in Cheltenham, on the premises of the Company. I had a week of intensive training. Elate training one. Everything went well. I received two uniforms and a service coat, a set of sheets, a pillow and a duvet. I was lodged in the Nursery Staff House, during the training. Loved the United Kingdom. The green landscapes, people, houses, everything. In the Nursery were other five ladies and two men. Among them was a lady with whom I have established ties until now. Sometimes I woke up and hoovered the floor early in the morning. Being myself, obviously. Also cooked in the microwave early in the morning. Everyone laughed because there was nothing to do, it was so spontaneous!

 

They all laugh!

On Saturday, the 23rd, left to Biscester in the car that I was given the day before when the course was over, with my friend “the Set Nav or GPS”. We were sent to Staff Houses or Live in accordingly our own applications. I thought that I was going to the same place of my friend’s but, at the last moment,  we were separated. That morning a young driver emerged aggressively asking if I wasn’t going to leave the room. I told him that yes, I would come out in half an hour. He went and came back teasing me. I was so calm trying to tell him that I would leave in my time  in my car. However, my friend, always aware, came and spoke to the young man. When he realized that he had the wrong person went down her nose and went out very confused. I figured out his pressure in the job. 

I drove to Bicester. I went into the house and waited for the colleagues who lived in the house, to settle down. Among the grunts they got me space to put my stuff in one of the rooms which I shared with the young lady A. They also got me space in the kitchen. Everything seemed fine. After one week the atmosphere was awful. They did not care about hygiene. I cleaned the house top to bottom. Every day I washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. These tasks gave me pleasure as I was considering those people my family.

Since then I became lonely. Traveling from early morning until late at night. Life was driving, working and sleeping after bathing. Didn’t have time to attend calls or talk to the family. I did it once a week on my day off or gave up a few hours of sleep to reply to e-mails or chatting over the internet with family and friends.

At some point the members of the house began to complicate with me for using the kitchen, laundry or shower when I finish work. In England our shower means bath. I meant a shower. That iwas the most enjoyable for me, when possible. Then they came up saying that I used  their’s things like shampoo, creams or food and that even I stole them. I was terrified to go home, then worked all the time. My route was Oxford. Came back home just to shower and sleep. I was #Living in the car. It was a terrible conspiracy!! My frustration and emotional pain increased day by day.

 I enjoyed my route. Was affordable although labor-intensive. I had done shadowing with two people and enjoyed the job. At first I didn’t have customers. When I started having steady clients I did my best, trying to get the hours done, also making the difference in dealing with people. Started early and ended at 8.30 pm 09.00 pm the latest. At the beginning I can say that I liked the three girls. Then everything changed … Everything in life changes, I stopped being confident and brave! I became a person paralyzed with lack of self-respect because of the insecurity. But back home, it was possible? What is going to think family and friends? I wonder if they would think I didn’t care for the work? On the other hand, would they support me with the minimum livelihood as they did during the past few years? No! Stay here, I thought!

I asked the supervisors to moving me to another house but they made deaf ear. When I become exhausted I spoke to the boss of the company. I was changed to Bampton on the 28th June, 2015 after a long waiting period of time and many endeavors. Shortly before my change, the girls S and C were already talking to me and I was told that they were aware of the conspiracy against me and explained to me why they created that conflict. The house didn’t fit more than three people. Had only one bathroom. All leave the house  early in the morning between 06.00 am and 07.00 am and come back between 21.00 and 22.00 pm. The most important for all was having shower, eat and sleep as soon as possible, in order to be well the next morning by 05.00 am. It was the struggling for survival.

At Oxford I started the day by 06.45 m in the house of a nice man that even though he was in the kitchen making meals, did faeces into his comodo in the waiting room. Very impresive as there was a toilet next to the kitchen. The work in there was giving him a bath, serving tea and toasts three times a day. Helped him to go to bed at the end of the day, in the fourth visit of the day.

My second visit was a lady with dementia (Alzheimer’s). Was polite despite having forgotten many details of her life. The work in that house was giving her medication, bath, prepare and serve the porridge (OAT flakes) for diabetics. Made that house twice a day. Early in the morning and at bedtime. At night gave her medicines and dinner. Put the food in his mouth. She was a real lady. I could understand her kindness behind the dementia. 

Further was going to another client, a woman with dementia less accentuated. I did the house four times a day. She was pleasant, independent and happy. I liked her.

Was required to login and logout. If not, we received phone calls warning with authority that the office would not pay us in the case of forgetfulness of the login or if the stay in client’s house was less time than indicated on the route. If the client needed more time, the extra time was not paid. Should respect exactly the route delivered by them. Although it often did not apply.

Then a pleasant and polite woman. Despite his health problem wanted to give me some consideration. Went there in the morning and afternoon. The work there was giving her medication that was carefully stored in a vault which key was deposited in the key safe of the house. We used to chat a little bit every time.

After, a very elderly lady with very little mobility, thin and fragile. Shower daily, helped her put herself into the tub and get out of it. Helped her dress up and wear the shoes. Prepared, served and gave her in the mouth breakfast, prepared lunch and served and leaved ready food for the night. I had thirty minutes for her but, many times, spent there more time, almost one hour.

I had a client to whom I served only lunch. Very friendly indeed. Was a pleasure to prepare and serve his meal. Sometimes I stood in his backyard to eat my lunch, with his permission, of course. Didn’t have time to go home. The schedule of route was impossible to achieve if I went home.

Everything is complicated, the subject of conversation was the same, the company excluded the travel time. Among the miles not paid, the fuel, the distances between clients and the time we could take more or less on the client, just find reduced the ability to proceed without comment with the managers. 

Before moving to Bampton the Company Owner gave me another car. Better, brand new.

In Bampton were new customers. I had to get used to new customers as well as other roads and locations. I did for one day, my friend’s clients. It was traumatizing to see the sick behavior of some of the customers. Be on the outside of the toillet waiting for the client to defecate. After that, the client’s call to bath or simply wash the anus. Certain client cleaned the anus with a folded piece of iron in the edge. My role was to observe. Taking care of people is an honorable profession. Becomes dishonorable when some people think of us as being trash.

Governments want to charge taxes. I think it fair. However, they should oblige the employer to give people safety conditions at work. Should inspect and organize periodically inspections. Get to tell the families’s patients that care assistant does not mean slavery, yes they should be loved and respected too.

I was given a bed in the room of my friend in Bampton. It was fun to be together. It was so comforting to have someone to talk to. We do laughed flashing back the day activity. Sometimes my friend fought with the girls in the house because of the lack of hygiene and order. Also protected me. Thin, beautiful, fragile but firm. Both adapted our ways of being facing the circumstances. Yes, that was the case we have to protect ourselves. We were alone and dependent on the company, away from our homes! We were vulnerable. With unscrupulous people around us.

To fulfill the routine, I was off at 06.30 am. I got to the first client at 6:45 am. Steps to give her the bath: first two plastic legs on her legs, not to get their feet and half-leg wet. Poor feet that deserved to be well washed. Washing her head, dry and put a fancy hat. My gloved hands laid into her fat skin in the front and on the sides, smelly inside. Ass chubby and stinky. When I was done, my hands were full of water, the gloves was not suitable for bathing and shower. My shoes were water soaked, too. Inside their sloppy and dirty property, she is a queen who silently despise the person who takes care of her. 

Dementia causes the illusion of power and beauty. Once dressed, she was ready for eight more days of only dress up and get sticky and smelly again.

I’m off, went to another trip into the property of an elderly couple, in which, both have dementia. Surrounded of its green lawn and ornamental trees along with a beautiful garden visibly unkempt, these elderly people were living the dilemma of Alzheimer’s disease. The husband treated me by name but could also distracts me at any time. For him a care is someone homeless who steals food. Want to have a domestic slave and at the same time someone who take care with professionalism and ethics. Satisfied his need to exert overbearing and inadequate authority. It’s hard to do what is right. The woman, sometimes don’t know how to walk but could suddenly stand up and go to bed and lie down alone, drawning her legs, smiling.

The work on this property was hard. “Are we going to take care of your hygiene?” said me. “What does that mean?” She said. “Well, Pee, shower, brushing hair, think about...” I said. “Oh dear yes!” She agreed. When she can’t walk, it complicates things. She got deep pain in the bones and yell to dress up. I counted “1,2 and 3 lift foot, hold, ok fine. Now the other foot, 1,2 and 3 lift hold, ok. Good girl, you did good.” “Oh dear!” She exclaims! Listen carefully to what she spoke. Sometimes in his dementia talk things settled, she wants to keep the peace in the house. She knew that her husband is a conflicting person. Cunning, hiding behind the dementia his real self. In a quiet day she takes a shower, comb hair, dress up and walk around the house. I prepared and served her breakfast. She is lovely. He remains lying in bed until I tell him that she was sitting at the table eating breakfast and that my time there ended. 

One day was no longer possible to dressing and undressing the Lady due to the intense pain she felt. In addition to dementia had bone problems. I suffered with her pain and felt no pleasure thinking that touching, hurts her. One day I had to call an ambulance and was a traumatic experience. Some one made me insistent questions, made me feel afraid. “What went wrong? How did it happen? Why? In what year was she born?” Anyway … The Lady’s husband ripped the phone from my hand when he found that I was terrified. At the end we were told that for this case wouldn’t be sent ambulance because she was breathing.

However, I reported the incident to my manager and the next day the doctor came to the house when I was present. He explained me that the family do not wanted to move her to any institution. I explained him what was my job there, the time I had to stay and why, in my opinion, the couple should have a specialized person full time service.

Did that trip four times a day for ten days more. On the 10th day I went there in the morning to take care of them. I had finished my service there. I was worried, yet, nothing else could do.

The manager of Whitney seemed sympathetic. On the other hand, started to put on my route an elderly gentleman with incontinence of faeces for fifteen minutes twice a day. At first the job was to prepare and serve lunch. I couldn’t get that house before 19.00m. Then I was told that the person needed a bath. I requested for more time and explained why. There was poop everywhere and dirty diapers. A penetrating odor. My thoughts in that house were “Is all about to go outside”. I spent time cleaning up and even gave him a bath. Left out with a willingness to take an infinit shower. Even so, it was gratifying to read a smile in his eyes and realize that had made the difference. Fifteen days after having put his dry poop pads in bags to throw away into the rubbish bin, I started filling tired and got dry irritating cough all night over. 

I wrote to the manager reporting everything and why had lost so much time in the house. I told her that I was feeling sick.

The manager of Whitney called me. She included in my route another person, according to her five hours twice a week just to take him for a walk. Huuum …

Then drove for another 20 minutes to get to another client. A lovely woman in a large and well cared property. The service there was wash and dress her up on a daily basis, make the bed and tidy the bathroom. On Monday’s she showered and changed clothing to wear, to sleep and changed the sheets. In that house I had 30 minutes.

From there I went to another lady with a high degree of independence. The work on her house was serving light meals four times a day, making the bed in the morning and pouring the urine of the comodo. Wash the dishes and clean up. This lady had medication and at the same time was taking alcoholic drinks. She was an interesting and educated person anyhow, could act with intolerance if been drinking. I reported that.

Then the heaviest psychological and physical service. An elderly woman, bedridden, in a good mood despite poor health. Breathing oxygen from a machine 24 hours a day, kept high self-esteem and gently explain what she wanted. Marked also the difference between her and my class. Had 1 hour to her. Started by bathing her, massage with cream full body, prepared and served breakfast, prepared and leaved near her, food for the day. Wash up the dishes, clean the bathroom, put laundry machine to run, folding the laundry and tidy. Finally went up to 500 meters getting her newspaper. I’d never been able to do 1 hour in the house, always between 20 to 30 minutes more.

Whitney again, to have lunch in Bampton around by 02.00 pm. Back to the service at 16.30. In the days when was going to Wintage had no time for lunch. Worked straight. This client was suffering from advanced Alzheimer’s and had incontinence of faeces and urine. The family used to clean him. I would have to take him for a walk because he didn’t like to be at home and commonly got lost. 

Many times I felt emotionally hit. There was no time to call the family and the resources were scarce due to having to pay for the fuel. The company did not treat us with consideration and the managers treat us like slaves or persons without feelings. I don’t know what kind of people they were dealing with. I did know that they were relentless and efficient in creating episodes of terror.

Without the elderly couple, went heading directly to a very elderly lady, cheerful and kind, to serve tea, tea time in Whitney.

From there moved to Caterton and after to East End again through the Cuckoo Lane. 

The scenario concerning the company was the same. There in Bampton made 250 miles’ day. The fuel was not paid by the company. Just received the time on the clients. After three months working in the United Kingdom start realizing it disadvantageous. Had no way to send money home unless spend the authorized overdraft. Eventually, being another problem. Every day, every week and every month, the days were the same. The day off was the only different day, if by chance, don’t get asked to do the job wherever.

On my day off I was used to going to the doctor or just be at home resting, doing my laundry, taking care of the areas of the house that needed hygiene or watching TV. I always said I didn’t want trouble. They knew that I only went out to customers.

I was happy because I finally was not always at home in my house at Portugal. I felt useful working. Did the most and the best. All of a sudden, I got a call from the Office for a meeting. I thought: “what’s happening?” Was the manager of Whitney? Greeted her and asked what was going on. In threatening tone began by saying that I was refusing customers. When asked who, raised the volume of voice arguing that she didn’t know. I told her that she shouldn’t have called me there, without first being well informed about who was rejected and, in this case, asking me why. Then she said that I spent more time than allowed at client’s home and that this conduct was conflicting with respect to company policies. I went away from there. She was talking and didn’t hear me. I chose to leave the premises and go home.

 Some time past. The manager appeared in the staff house with the Whitney’s manager. They asked me to deliver my car keys which I had just clean up and top off with a full tank fuel. Took also the business phone. I ran out of ground and was very scared. I went into the bedroom and sat on my corner. I asked for a written letter to deliver the car and the phone. When it was sent I gave them the keys and the phone.

Lived in a staff house, are they going to put me on the street? Anyway, during the conflict of women at home, tempers running high, my friend up and down mediating communication between me and them. I decided to have lunch. My friend after the confusion just wondering how I could eat in such a situation. I couldn’t explain. I told her that they won’t get also my appetite.

I got suspended, convened to research meetings, which I was not able to attend. I was sick with very high blood pressure. I talk to my family and prepared my return home after having reported to the Company Owner my decision because of my health problems compounded with the fact that I felt vulnerable as never before.

Lisbon is Lisbon

When I arrived to Lisbon hugged my little girl. Even the baby seal!!! Although I didn’t know how I felt! I kept looking at my mother. Now I come back. Come back with emotional pain, with fear of tomorrow. There will always be grey tomorrow because there are no employment opportunities and social support. I trust that I will be able to turn things around. I Think about that I have worked every day, all day, every day, from 1977 to 2009 in the land that gave birth to me and I have no rights to anything. Neither grant nor reform! That’s life! That’s scarying! I want to believe that one day soon, I’ll get it sorted out. I’m going to make it!